How to Be an Extreme Encourager.

Many years ago, when I first shared my dream of being a songwriter with one of mybest friends, she knitted her brows and said, "Huh?"
I can't say I was deflated by all of the warnings that followed. After all, I had alwaysbeen surrounded by this kind of "practical thinking." In fact, I probablyshared my dream with her just so she'd talk me out of it.During this fumbling stumbling time in my life, I met a man who became an unlikelybest friend and mentor. He was a brilliant jazz musician, and he could do pretty much anything on the computer.One night, after he performed at a local jazz club, we were walking towards my car. I told him my dream of being a songwriter. Without even blinking, he said, "Honey (he always called me Honey), you'd be a fabulous songwriter. That's perfect!" And he meant it.At that moment, I felt like I was falling into a soft clean bed. I had never experienced such direct and truthful encouragement without a single "practical" warning attached to it. This friend set me free by offering one simple thing:Encouragement.Fast forward many years and successes and failures later. I'm surrounded by encouragers. I'm sure there are doubters around. But they don't register anymore.Also, I have become an extreme encourager myself.I've observed extreme encouragers. I've also recognized some traits that they all have in common. Here they are:· An extreme encourager lives by exampleThe best encouragers are the ones who live it. Whether they're just getting started, or they're veteran risk-taking creativity-living wild-women - the encouragers are the ones who want a bigger life for themselves and are willing to "go there." This is why my jazz musician friend could simply offer encouragement when my other friend could not.· An extreme encourager actively listensEncouragers know that encouragement doesn't mean you just tell people to "buck up" or "get over it." They know how to listen. This means looking at the speaker, listening to her, setting agendas and judgments aside, and honoring the speaker as a wise soul.· An extreme encourager avoids clichésAvoiding clichés is actually a result of actively listening to someone. Being an extreme encourager doesn't mean that you blindly tell people "You can do it!" or "Let go of fear!" It's deeper than that. It's seeing the truth of the other person, especially when they cannot.· An extreme encourager acknowledges the hooglie-booglies, but doesn't focus on themWe all have the hooglie-booglies. These are the voices that tell us we can't, or we shouldn't, or we'll fail, or we'll look stupid. An encourager doesn't focus on those voices because she knows they they're trying to hook her. An encourager simply acknowledges that the voices are there and that you can't make them go away by arguing with them. An encourager knows that those voices aren't the truth. They only SEEM like the truth.· An extreme encourager remembers that no one knows what's best for anyone elseAn encourager knows that we are all wise and that sometimes we make choices that might not seem so wise. An extreme encourager calls out our deepest desires and then helps us see the thoughts and fears that hold us back.· An extreme encourager accepts miracles, grace and mystery as the deeper truth.Extreme encouragers are often mystics of sorts. They know that the so-called "woo-woo" stuff is more real than the so-called "logical" stuff. They celebrate the divine as a simple fact of everyday existence and don't get caught up in the "prove it" mindset.· An extreme encourager knows that you can develop the needed character traits as you goIn other words, she knows you're ready now, even if you're not perfect yet! I shudder when I read advice that discourages people from trying something because of character traits "required" in advance. "You shouldn't blog if you're not disciplined." "If you don't have focus, you can't be a writer." Most of the successful people I know developed these traits as they went. I certainly did. Encouragers understand the huge potential for growth in each human, especially when someone begins to follow her heart.---------------I'm grateful to the encouragers! And I'm grateful to be able to pass it on to others - either my friends, or to women in my retreats or my coaching clients!Who has given you the encouragement you needed in your life? And do you pass it on now? WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with morethan 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you cansign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at ChristineKane.com/blog.

Media, Mindsets and Muscles: How to Get your Thoughts into shape.

Years ago, I was on the road and happened to catch a snippet of the news while waiting in an airport. "...the Washington DC area was plunged into darkness this evening as storms raged..."Plunged? Darkness? Rage?Quickly I grabbed my phone and called my mom to make sure she was okay.When she picked up, I said, "Hey! Are you all okay?"She sounded surprised to hear from me. "Yes. Why?"I told her that I had just seen the news."Well, the lights went out. So we lit candles."In other words, no one plunged. Nothing fell. In fact, there was no descent to speak of.In my mom's words: "The lights went out."But that's not news, is it? Plunging, on the other hand. Now THAT'S news!-------------
It's no secret that the media hooks us in with subtle twists of language. After all, if we don't get hooked, then we don't need to find out more, do we? If we don't need to find out more, then we won't be watching when the commercials run.Let's say the guy on the news tells you: "It's all good!"That just sends you on your way, doesn't it?"Phew! Everything's fine. Back to my day!"But "plummeting" and "crisis" and "slumps" (oh my). Those get us every time.Those headlines sell ads.Here's some breaking news for you: The news is not a public service. It's a business. As such, it needs you to live your life reactively so you'll keep watching.-------Now, some people choose to look at all these media messages and get outraged. "Look at those media people! They're just trying to get us!"But this just keeps you hooked - only it's from a different angle. The media watch dog types provide another perspective - but they still remain at the level of the drama. It's still reaction.There's another way. You can rise above the negativity completely. And then choose to see the media and all of its doom and gloom as "resistance training" - actually helping your mental muscle to grow, and training you to get better and better at creating your own reality.Does this sound a little stupid?Well, consider something.Think about your muscles. Whether you're a world-class athlete or just someone who works-out to stay in shape, your muscles do not grow or change without meeting resistance. Resistance training is required for the building of body and muscle strength - even if it's just the weight of your own body, as in Pilates or Yoga.So, why would it be any different with creating new thought patterns and better responses to the world around you?It's not!So rather than waiting for the negativity to subside so that you can feel okay about the world, use it as training! It's a form of resistance training. It is helping you become a better creator, a better leader of your own life, and someone who can self-generate happiness and results. As opposed to being someone who waits for the outside world to tell you that you're okay, that you're gonna be okay, and that you are productive, abundant, and peaceful.Here's how it works:1 - You consciously choose the thoughts you want to think and believe.2 - Every time you hear the news, or find yourself in a conversation with doomers and gloomers, become an athlete. See how your mind and its thoughts hold up to the resistance.3 - Remember that no one goes into a gym for the first time and bench presses 300 pounds. (Or 100 for that matter!) It takes practice and awareness.4 - Congratulate yourself each time you notice that you hold your mental strength and keep your desired perspective. That's the beginning!When you get good at this, you'll see powerful results. You'll notice that you instantly see through the drama and the language that used to hook you. And best of all, you'll recognizethat your thoughts are far more powerful than anything that plummets, descends, or has acrisis outside of them. WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at ChristineKane.com/blog

52 Ways to Build Your Courage.

Excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts." - Aristotle . Courage is like a muscle. Just as you wouldn't go into the gym for the first time and lift a 100-pound dumbbell - you don't have to begin building courage by running for President.People often think that courage has to be big. Like sky-diving. Or givinga speech to a stadium.Those things do require courage, yes. But in some ways, that's baby courage. It's obvious courage. I call it Bungee-Jumping Courage.Bungee-Jumping Courage is convenient because it lets us define ourselves as "not courageous." When you set the stakes that high, then you never have to approach it. You simply get to say, "Hmm, I must not have courage."I'm not letting you get off that easy.Why?Because there's a deeper level of courage. It makes you strong. It makes you fall in love with yourself. It makes you fall in love with your life.At its core, courage is about strengthening your relationship with yourself.Here are 52 ways - little and big - to build your courage. Some of them seem completely foolish. But they're not. They're just uncomfortable. And that's the whole point! Success in life is directly related to how uncomfortable you're willing to get. Now, get uncomfortable and go be courageous! 1 - Paint your nails green. (Guys get extra credit for this one!)2 - Begin to live your life as an "experiment."3 - If you're always spontaneous, plan something in advance and stick with it. If you're a meticulous planner, do something spontaneous.4 - Quit your job.5 - Start a blog.6 - Take a drawing class.7 - Learn a new language.8 - Begin yoga.9 - Do something tourist-y in your own town.10 - Get up in the morning after having a bad day yesterday. Encourage yourself to begin again.11 - Give money away.12 - Look into people's eyes when you're in public - on the street, buying groceries, etc.13 - Hire someone to do a regular task you can't stand doing. (i.e., mowing the lawn.)14 - Play music more. Watch TV less.15 - Get rid of everything in your home that's not an Absolute Yes.16 - Put on a goofy smile and look at other drivers when you stop at lights.17 - Go vegan.18 - If you never host parties or dinners - invite friends over for dinner.19 - Teach a workshop.20 - Start a mastermind group.21 - Be bad at something. Do it anyway.22 - Make requests. Don't complain.23 - Join a writer's group.24 - Hire a life coach.25 - In social situations, allow people to come talk with you instead of running around the room "networking."
26 - Worry less. Act more.27 - Enter a writing contest.28 - Start your own business.29 - Ask someone out on a date.30 - Make a business card for yourself.31 - Eat at an ethnic restaurant you've never considered.32 - Respond. Don't react.33 - Get some music from another culture. Sit down and really listen.34 - Listen more. Talk less. Especially to your kids.35 - Take a swing dance class.36 - Hire a physical trainer.37 - Start a book club.38 - Test-drive a luxury car.39 - End a relationship that drains you or hurts you.40 - Pray.41 - Quit smoking.42 - Take different routes to work each day.43 - Drive around and get lost on purpose.44 - Wake up at 5am and write.45 - Assumptions are the enemy of success. Question them often.46 - Excuses are the enemy of action. Stop making them.47 - Admit when you are wrong.48 - Write a fan letter to someone who's not famous - a teacher, a grocery store clerk - anyone who delights you or touches you.49 - Pick one incomplete in your life. (A cluttered garage, for instance.) Tackle it for 15 minutes a day. It's more courageous to do something for a small chunk of time and do it again the very next day - than it is to sit back and say it can't be done because you don't have enough time.50 - Do an open-mic night.51 - Pay the toll of the person behind you.52 - Run for President. WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with morethan 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you cansign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at ChristineKane.com/blog.

Baby Steps: The Best-Kept Secret to Accomplishing Anything(by Christine Kane)

Let's say you had a baby.Congratulations! Your baby is the best human ever!You love your baby. You celebrate as it starts to crawl. You andyour partner delightin this baby's every new adventure.
Then, one day, the baby stands up on her own. "Yaaaaay!" youcheer. You clap your hands. The baby smiles and laughs. Youthink, "Wow. She's gonna learn how to walk. Isn't that great?"One evening, you and your partner are on the carpet playing withyour baby. Suddenly, your perfect child stands up again. Shebraces herself on the coffee table. Your partner grabs the moviecamera. You call your parents in Idaho so they can listen to theplay-by-play.Your child lurches forward. You all gasp and hold your collective breath.Then, CLUNK. She falls onto her butt on the carpet."Awwwww," you say."Dang," your partner says."Well, I guess that's it. This one just wasn't cut out for walking," your parents say from their home in Boise."Oh well," you say. "It just wasn't meant to be. Bummer."You hang up the phone. You turn off the camera. You take the baby up to bed. Tomorrow you'll begin the search for a bigger stroller because your kid's obviously gonna have to get through life on wheels.Get the idea?And yet, how many of us are already acting like this with our plans for the coming year or with our own new beginnings?Your project, your dream, or your goal is your baby. If we all gave up on our kids as much as we give up on ourselves, then we'd have a race of humans with big calluses on their knees!The Best Way to Take Action: Baby StepsEvery big project or goal can be broken down into baby steps. Little lurches forward. Sometimes they're clumsy. Sometimes they don't even seem to make an impact. But this is how anything gets done.* Years and years of built up clutter get sorted and thrown away one drawer at a time. (Plan for 30-minutes a day in one zone of the house - not "Get rid of clutter.")* Years and years of reckless eating and unhealthy habits get shifted one work-out at a time. (Plan a 45-minute work-out 5 days a week, and a once a month visit to an acupuncturist for a year - not "Lose 50 pounds by June.")* A song gets written in fits and starts. Hour by hour. Moment by moment. A flash of an idea. Then an edit. (Schedule in an hour of songwriting time in the morning. Start with scales to warm up. Not "Write Lots of Songs.")* A coach builds her practice one client at a time. (Schedule a daily system for authentic marketing. Not "Get 50 new clients by March.")That's how it works.Stinks, doesn't it?Actually, no.This is the good news that no one ever tells you.When you get this concept, you'll never be afraid of failure again. When you learn how to break a goal down into baby steps, and how to complete something fantastic using this method, then you have the key to doing anything. When you understand that everyone falls down and gets back up again (some of us on an hourly basis!), then you need only to trust in your strength to get back up again.The only block is your ego.Your ego wants it to be done now. Your ego wants to move through life risk-free, foolish-free, discouragement-free, mistake-free, tired-free. And the best way to trick your ego (and yourself) into letting go a little bit is to take baby steps.If you read the comments on my blog post on New Years Day, you noticed that many people chose the word "Courage" to guide them through 2009.Baby steps take courage. Baby steps are a huge risk to your ego because they are so easy. SO easy! The ego wants big deals, major accomplishments, huge weight-loss, and fast results. In other words, the ego likes adjectives, not nouns. Those adjectives guarantee that you'll stay stuck and never try anything new. Over time you'll get that deals, accomplishments, weight-loss, and results feel pretty good -- even without adjectives.Now, try this:Take a goal you chose for the new year, and ask yourself, "What one baby step could I take every day to complete this goal?" And then (and this is the big challenge) get out your calendar and schedule it in there daily for the rest of January.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.